not sure if it helps - i added this to an old theme i customised, and made a toolbar that did that…
function cg_get_friendship_requests() {
global $bp;
$notifications2 = apply_filters( 'bp_get_friendship_requests', implode( ',', (array) friends_get_friendship_request_user_ids( $bp->loggedin_user->id ) ) );
$count2 = !empty($notifications2) ? count($notifications2) : 0;
echo $count2;
}
then
<li>
<a href="<?php echo $bp->loggedin_user->domain; ?>friends/requests/"><span><img src="http://smeak.com/wp-content/imglib/sbv002.png" style="margin-top: -2px;" title="Friend Requests" /></span>
<?php $totalFriends = bp_friend_get_total_requests_count(); ?>
<?php if ( $totalFriends > 0 ) { ?>
<span class="counter" title="New Friend Requests"><?php echo $totalFriends; ?></span>
<?php } ?>
</a>
</li>